Tradition. Decency. Perfection.
Preserve cultural traditions without the shortcuts.
Preserve cultural traditions without the shortcuts.
Every day in this country, perfectly good dinners are ruined by the addition of cream cheese into a universally beloved and classic institution. Some of us, however, feel the need to make our voices heard.
Long ago, in the land of Rome, a man named Alfredo di Lelio created a masterpiece: a sauce so smooth, so luxurious, so utterly perfect that it needed only a few sacred ingredients— cream cheese certainly not among them.
Yet, somewhere along the way, chaos erupted. Someone—possibly a rogue American looking for “extra creamy”—defiled this It
Long ago, in the land of Rome, a man named Alfredo di Lelio created a masterpiece: a sauce so smooth, so luxurious, so utterly perfect that it needed only a few sacred ingredients— cream cheese certainly not among them.
Yet, somewhere along the way, chaos erupted. Someone—possibly a rogue American looking for “extra creamy”—defiled this Italian treasure by tossing in a block of cream cheese. Alfredo’s spirit likely shuddered in his grave. And thus, a war was waged.
Why We Must Protect the Purity of Alfredo
1. Alfredo is Italian simplicity at its finest. Italians don’t measure things in “cups” or “tablespoons.” They measure with their hearts (and their ancestors judging from above). Cream cheese? That’s a betrayal of generations.
2. It’s not necessary. Proper Alfredo gets its creamy texture from emulsification—a fancy way of saying that butter and cheese melt into silky perfection when combined with starchy pasta water. No need for a dairy brick.
3. It’s a slippery slope. First, it’s cream cheese. Next thing you know, people are throwing in ranch seasoning and calling it “Alfredo.” We must draw the line.
4. Authenticity matters. If we start adding cream cheese to Alfredo, what’s next? Pineapple on pizza? (Oh, wait…)
Join the Movement!
By saying NO to cream cheese in Alfredo, you’re standing up for tradition, integrity, and good taste. You’re defending the legacy of Alfredo di Lelio. You’re preventing future crimes against Italian cuisine.
So grab a whisk, a wedge of Parmesan, and a stick of butter—and leave the cream cheese for your bagels where it belongs.
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